It's been a busy few days

Monday - Girl Scouts and homework, by the time we were done with all that it was time for bed
Tuesday - Girl Scout Bowling Event and homework, by the time we were done with that it was WAY past bedtime
Wednesday - Homework, sewing for LG puppet for school, dinner, and a few minutes of TV, and then bed
Thursday - Nothing planned. Hopefully homework will be light today and no new projects come up.

I am looking forward to this weekend. LG has a therapist appointment on Saturday morning, but that's it. We are thinking of setting up our new tent in the livingroom. LG has never slept in a tent and she has a new sleeping bag to try out, so it will be a fun little adventure for all of us.

Headphones

We keep a pair of headphones in the car for my daughter to use to watch movies when we go on long car rides. Several times over the past month or so Jerry has commented that he should put a cheaper pair in the car, since they always seem to be on the floor. Honestly, I don’t know why he would let her use an expensive pair, but he did and he never did switch them out for a cheaper pair. Well, this morning I got a call from Jerry after he dropped LG off at Kidstop. I guess when he got there he noticed a cord hanging out of the door. Turns out the headphones were hanging out the door and were dragging on the ground and broke off in the block that it takes to get to the school. Figures. I think this is why kids are so expensive. It's because of all the stuff you have to replace that they accidently break.

Court Filing #

We got our paperwork back from the courts with our filing number of our petition for adoption of LG. I opened it while she was doing her homework. She asked what it was, so I told her, and said something like,"isn't this exciting?" She said, "not for me." I forget that she doesn't have the same feelings about being adopted that we have about adopting her.
Another thing that happened yesterday, she asked if she could eat outside because a friend was waiting for her to get done so they could ride bikes. I said, "no". She asked what the reason was and I told her that I don't have to have a reason. I could have told her that I didn't think it was polite to eat in front of her friend that wasn't eating and I was also afraid of losing my silverware, or the dishes breaking. She's a very clumsy girl. I want her to understand that she needs to do things because I tell her to. She needs to respect me, and I feel like I get very little, especially when she has friends around.
Needless to say she still had the attitude when it was time to come in for the night, and she gave that attitude to Jerry, who promply took her bike away for a week. It wasn't only the attitude, it also had to do with some other factors, but I wish she could learn without losing out on things she enjoys, but maybe that's what it will take.

South Beach Diet

I stepped on the scale yesterday and I couldn't believe what it said. Needless to say I am going to have to do something. The only thing that has worked for me in the past few years has been the South Beach Diet, so I signed up again today for the website. I feel horrible these days and I know that if affects my relationship with my active daughter. She loves to run and play and because of my weight I have problems keeping up. When I was helping her learn to ride her bike I got tired really fast. I know this will be good for me and for her. I don't know why I let my weight get so out of control. Wish me luck.

Rough Night last night for LG

After school last night LG road around the neighborhood on her bike with her friends. She had a blast, then asked if she could go to a fashion show with one of them. At the senior high they had a prom fashion show and her friend's sister had something to do with it. Anyway, all went well except she came home pretty late. This would have been fine except for the major attitude little miss had upon entering the house. I asked her questions about the show and what she had seen, I got no replys to anything. She even walked away from me. Ok. I decided to ignore it and ask her to get ready for bed knowing that she would eventually tell me what was bothering her. She said that she was hungry and wanted something to eat. I felt manipulated at that point, so I told her that it was to late and that she should get ready for bed. She burst into tears. I have never seen her cry loudly before. I have seen the frustrated quiet tears, but nothing like how she was crying then. OMG. She fled to her room, but still wouldn't talk. I turned off her light and said goodnight. I was going to do some laundry, but as soon as I turned my back she started to cry louder. She wanted my attention. I walked back into her room, and told her that I couldn't help her if she wouldn't use her words so that I could understand what was going on. Finally, she said, she didn't want to come home because she was having to much fun with her friend. I praised her and hugged her for telling me what was bothering her. Her crying slowed down enough to eat a bowl of cereal, and by the time she was done, all was back to normal. All of that because of a little disappointment. We certainly have work to do... At least we are making progress.

Well, this weekend our little girl turned 9-years-old. It was a very busy two days. I am pretty sure that she enjoyed most of it and she got a lot of really great gifts. I think that some of her favorites were her bike, some new DS games, sleeping bag, and clothes.

On Saturday we took 8 kids including LG to Chuck E Cheese for a fun filled time with pizza, cake, presents, and games. I am very appreciative to the other adults that were there to help keep track of kids, tokens, tickets, and valuables. As I expected the place was a ZOO of wild children. It was incredibly hard to walk around, but I did manage to get some great pictures, as well as tickets to help LG get what she wanted from the prize counter. I think she had a few problems balancing her time and attention with all her friends, and I had to remind her several times to say thank you when opening gifts. I know that she likes to be the center of attention, but she’s not very gracious, but I suppose she will need to learn that.

On Sunday we had 30ish people to our house for. OMG. I was afraid that we wouldn’t have enough food, but that wasn’t a problem, I always worry for nothing. While she was opening her gifts she would read the card, and then ask who the gift was from even though she had just read the card. It really annoyed me, because it came across as not appreciative. I know that she was probably nervous and everyone probably understands, but it still felt bad.

After all the presents were opened all LG wanted to do was ride her new bike. She had never ridden a bike before, so my brothers took her to the park on her bike. She was still having trouble when she got back, so I got out there and helped her out. After that everyone took turns running behind her, but we didn’t have to do it too long, because she got the hang of it pretty fast. After everyone left I sat outside watching her ride up and down the block until the sun went down. It amazes me how fast she learns to do something. She defiantly has the determination to learn something once she decides she wants to.

Sweet

033 - kittens, originally uploaded by cassiemarie.

I found this photo on flickr today and it just speaks to me. Wouldn't it be a perfect life to be that content and happy?

Darling Daughter turns 9

Our Darling Daughter turns 9-years-old this weekend. I am really excited to celebrate her first birthday with us. We are having 2 parties. One is going to be at Chuck E Cheese on Saturday with her friends from school and a couple of her cousins that she's close to, and that are around her age. Then on Sunday we are having a party with the family. I wrote down the guest list this weekend and it turns out we are expecting almost 30 people. I guess this is to be expected because we are combining our families together as it doesn't make sense to split up her party by family.
This will be her first big birthday celebration and I am excited for her. I just hope I don't lose my patience with her squirrly behavior. She always seems to get that way when she's the center of attention.
I am also excited for my Duluth family to come and spend time with her and us. This will only be the second time that they have spent time with our DD and I know that they can't wait. It's just too bad that there will be so many other people around. We haven't been able to get up there for one on one time.
Wish me luck.

Mama

Last night I was on the phone and LG was trying to ask me a question and called me "mama". I know that she knew it would get my attention and that's why she said it, but it still felt good to hear her say mama when referring to me.

Meeting with the Adoption Worker

Last night we had a meeting with our adoption worker to fill out some subsidy paperwork as well as the petition for adoption of LG. We paid the $397.00 to submit the petition, and soon we will get more paperwork back. Then, the court date will be set to make the adoption final.
We learned last night that LG will qualify for a monthly subsidy because of her needs that go beyond "normal". I am glad that we will have this money to do extra nice things for her, like trips, activities, etc.
Things have been going really well with our little girl these past few days. Her mood has been great, and she's had no major melt downs. She's even started to play with Jerry more, and I really enjoy watching it.

A good night

We had a very good night last night. It started at 5:00pm, we attended LG's girl scout meeting/award ceremony. She recieved her sash, and 4 patches. She was so happy and smiling from ear to ear. She didn't want to leave when it was time to go. She seems to get along really well with all the other girls, and I am glad that she's meeting new people and doing new things. When we got home we all made dinner together and ate. Then we watched a movie and I sewed her patches on her sash. She wore it the rest of the night. She also pulled out her binder and recited the girl scout oath. She even gave the oath to Jerry and me. It was really cute.

Tonight the adoption worker comes over and we sign some paperwork. The process in moving along. Can't wait until it's complete!

Melt Down

Last night LG had a melt down and I physically had to pick her up and put her in timeout. It all started with homework. She was sharpening her pencil and the sharpener opened up because she was turning it instead of the pencil; and all the pencil shaving showered over her lap.
She looked at me and said,"It's not my fault, the sharpener just opened up." I calmly said, " It was an accident, but it was your fault. All you need to do is say your are sorry and clean it up." She didn't look at me, just kept sharpening all the pencils she had in her bag.
I calmly said, "Let's pick it up, I will help you." Still no response.
I took the pencil out of her hand and began to count. 1, 2... As I got to two she put her self in timeout. I set the timer, and went upstairs to retrieve something from the livingroom. I heard her getup and when I came back she was slyly walking from her room.
At this point I was fuming, but held it together, and said that the time would start over. Her response, "I don't care, I can stay in timeout all night." I didn't want that, I was already mentally drained from the day and crossed my fingers that wouldn't happen.
So, again she was in timeout on the chair. I moved to the kitchen to do the dishes where I could see her in her chair. She reached for her reading book. We were told by her therapist that she shouldn't have any distractions in time out. I went over and took the book, but then she started to grab other things on the table. I was shaking inside because she was being so defiant. I had never seen her act that way before. So, I picked her up from the chair and put her in the corner like a toddler. At this point she punched that wall and I told her I was going to add 5 minutes for the offense, which I did.
Sitting in the corner, she began to tear at the cuff of her sleeve. Her therapist said that we should give her consequences for ruining her things when she's mad. So, I told her I would take 5.00 from her bank if she ruined the shirt. To my surprise this stopped the assault on her shirt.
Then she said she had to go to the bathroom. This I knew was not true because she had gone only 10 minutes before. I told her that she had to hold it until she was done in timeout. I knew it was only a few minutes until the timer rang, and if she really had to go she would be able to hold it until then. The rest of timeout was uneventful.
After the timer sounded, I told her several times she could get up, but she didn't want to. I told her it was her choice to stay in the corner. Once she came out of the corner I calmly asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened and how she was feeling. She didn't of course, but went to her room and came back a few moments later with a piece of paper where she had drawn a sad face and written the words "Sad" and "Frustrated". I gave her a hug and cleaned up the chair of the shavings. Then we began her homework and everything was back to normal. I don't think I will ever get used to these blowouts with LG, but I am glad we can easily recover from them.

Yummy Corn Bread

Making Liberian Corn Bread is so easy and it's really yummy too. The recipe said that it would be really sweet and it's

traditionally eaten as dessert, but we made it as a side to our

main course, and it was perfect. It's not really that sweet.

First we creamed the butter with the sugar. LG just loves to use the mixer. It made it easy for me, almost like having a stand mixer. I could add ingredients while she kept mixing.

Then we made the dry mixture and mixed it all
togehter. Notice the sleeves. LG has a way of getting every ingredient on her clothing, in her hair, and on her face. That's one thing we have in common for sure.
Then we poured it into a greased 9x13 pan, and baked it for 40 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Side note: it smells delicious when it's baking. I noticed that it really doesn't rise that much until half way through the baking process.

And here's the finished product. It was really yummy. You can definatly taste the nutmeg, but it's not overpowering by any means. Besides I love nutmeg, it reminds me of Egg Nog and Christmas.

We will surely be making this again. Maybe next time I will make it when we have Chili. It would compliment it very well.

Next up Jollaf Rice which LG said is her favorite because it's delicious.

Cooking

My little girl loves to cook with me, so yesterday I looked up a traditional Liberian recipe. We are planning on cooking it together tonight. I am really excited to try something that comes from her native foods. She was really excited when I suggested that we try it. Her favorite is Jollof rice. I do intend to make that another day, as the recipe would serve quite a few people. I could reduce the recipe, and I might when I have some more time. One thing at a time. I will try and post some pictures of our culinary adventure tomorrow and let you know how it tastes. My husband love cornbread of any kind as do I, so I am sure we will all enjoy it.
Wish us luck.

LIBERIAN CORN BREAD
Liberian cornbread is much sweeter than ours and is eaten as a dessert.
1 c. butter
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 c. flour, sifted
2 c. corn meal
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. orange or lemon flavoring
1 1/2 c. milk
3 tsp. baking powder
Cream butter and sugar well. Add flavorings. Add eggs and beat well. Mix flour, corn meal, baking powder, salt and nutmeg. Add flour mixture to creamed mixture, alternately with milk. Bake in greased 9 x 13 inch pan at 350 degrees about 40 minutes.

I'm not your daughter

Well, it came up again. I thought we were doing really great and that we were finally moving forward, but I was told by LG again this weekend that she is not my daughter, and that she will never call me her mom. I gave her the my standard response,"I consider you my daughter, and I love you like you are my daughter." She never has a response.
I wracked my brain to figure out what brought on this comment, but I can't think what it could have been, other then her cousin was over, and she also told her that they really weren't cousins. I know how much that must have hurt my niece because my niece doesn't understand LGs reasons for saying that. I don't expect her to understand at 8, but I feel bad that she said it to her at all. LG can be really mean sometimes, and it's scary.
The funny thing is that after her cousin went home and everything got back to normal she cuddled with me on the couch for an hour while we watched tv. That's the first time we have done that, and she seemed to really like it.
I guess it's right what they say, 2 steps forward 1 step back.