Name Change ???

We got a call from the adoption worker who is working on the final paperwork. She asked us what we want LG's name to be on her new birth certificate. We wanted her to have our last name, but we wanted to talk with her about it because she has told us in the past that she doesn't like our last name.
The conversation did not go well. I didn't expect that it would. She wants to keep her last name and says that if we change it or hyphenate her last name and ours that she will not use it. I figured that she would feel that way, but I really don't know what to do. It's important to me that she share our last name and I worry that she might change her mind in the future. So, that leaves us unsure what to do.

Any suggestions?

My sisters and I have all blown out our birthday candles. That's how I know that January is coming to a close. It's fun having all our birthdays come within weeks of eachother. My littlest sister's is on Jan 2nd. Then comes Melanie on January 14, and mine on the 22nd. None of my brothers were born in January. Isn't it weird that all of us girls were born in the same month?

My birthday was good this year. It was fun that LG was here to share it with me. Jerry's mom, my sister, and our old roommate came over to celebrate too. We had lasagna, garlic bread, salad, and ice cream cake. I opened my presents and we played the Wii Trivia game that I got. It was pretty fun. LG had a friend from school overnight and they were good. So, all in all I had a good time.

Yesterday we had a birthday to celebrate for one of our nephew's kids Ana. She turned 3 this year. It's amazing to think that Josh, our nephew, has a child that is 3 already. After that we came home and had people over to watch the Vikings lose a heartbreaker.

Employed

I am so excitedd to be employed. I have been without a job for over a year now, and finaly I have a job. It's going to start out as temporary, but they fully expect it to become permanent. The pay is great and I couldn't be happier. We are also in the process of refinancing our morgage to consolidate a home equity loan, and won't have to make those payments for 2 months. That will give us time to bang out some credit card bills that racked up around the holidays.

I am a little nervous because now that I will be working we will need to put LG into Kidstop after school. She was in a similar program at her old school, so hopefully it won't be a big adjustment for her. I am glad that the option exists otherwise I would need to find daycare for her after school.

Tuesday

Tuesday is here and I got a good call this morning. Turns out that even though I was over qualified for a job that I interviewed for a few weeks ago, they liked me and called me back today with another position that they think I will be good at. It's a temp to permanent position that will pay nearly what I was making at my previous job. I am a bit nervous about it because it's a temp to perm position, but I am still hoping that my discussion with them this afternoon goes well and I could be back to work soon. I need some mental stimulation although, I am thankful that I got to be home during the time that LG was getting settled in our home.

Speaking of Little Girl...I finally got her out of the house on time this morning. She's usually running a bit late every day. She's never late for the bell, but I want her to have a few minutes before the bell to mentally prepare for the day. I know that it helps me.

This week I will turn 34. Is that considered mid-thirties. I couldn't be that old yet? Boy time has gone by so fast. LG thinks that I am too old and that she would like to have young parents like her mom who is 28. I explained to her that age is not a good determination about what a good parent will be and that 34 is still pretty young. Kids...

This morning LG and I were talking over cereal and she asked me why I didn't have my own children. I told her that Jerry and I can't have our own kids. She pondered that a bit and asked, "so you wanted me?". I said yes, but then she said,"so you took me away from my family." I had to explain to her that I didn't take her away from her family, that someone else did because she wasn't being treated very good and that we wanted to give her a permanent home and love her. It make me wonder how she comes to some ideas and what misconceptions that she has about what has happened to her during her fostercare journey.

I made it back within a week

I made it back and it's not even Tuesday yet. This weekend was really great. Friday night we had dinner at my sisters for her birthday. She lives in an apartment with and indoor pool and sauna and we all went swimming. It's the first time I saw LG swim. She does pretty well, but she's afraid to float. My mom had her floating for a bit with her arms underneath her, but she didn't want to do it herself.

Then, on Saturday we picked up Naz and Tekaija. It's the first time they have been over since before Christmas. It was fun having them over. On Sunday after the Vikings game we took the kids to the Snow Tubing Hill over by our house. We had a great time. There is an escalator that brings you back to the top of the hill from the bottom. It made for a more relaxing adventure.

Today we all woke up and had breakfast, played Wii, and went to the park. Then we brought the kids home and LG and I made popcorn and watched Happy Feet. That's the first movie that she has wanted to watch with me or Jerry. She watches alot in the car, but never wants to watch at home.

Tuesday

This morning I woke up at 1:00am with a horrible cough. I have been struggling with this darn cough since Christmas. I thought it was getting better, but I guess I still have a few hurdles to jump before it's all gone.

This morning I had a terrible time getting LG out of bed. I went into her room when she didn't get up right away to shut off her alarm clock. She pretended to still be sleeping. I knew that she was awake, so I went over to tickle her out of bed. I told her that I was going to count to 10 when that didn't work. If she didn't get herself out of bed, I would pick her up and bring her to the table to eat. She wasn't up, so I picked her up. Finally, she woke up and ate. I realized last night that if I stay with her when she's doing something it takes 10X longer to complete. So, as an experiment this morning I left the room when she got dressed, and it worked. It's a good feeling to figure out what a child needs to progress.

Still, this morning she didn't want to go to school. She worries that she won't be liked at school because of her color. I had assumed that the school was more diverse then I think it really is. She is the only African American in her class. I told her that it makes her special, but I know she just wants to fit in. I wish there were more black children in her class, but I know that she's a brave little girl and she will be just fine.

Today she brought her ice skates to school. The kids get to skate at recess. I know she is excited about that. I remember when I was in elementary school and got to skate at recess. It was so much fun. I hope she has fun too.

Back to Normal

This morning I got my little girl all ready for school and she walked all by herself today. I stood in the doorway of the garage as she walked bravely down the street. Every 20 feet or so she turn to see me still there and waved to me. It was a bit nerve racking to see her go off all alone, but I know that she's one smart little cookie and she can handle it. She doesn't have to remember any directions to the school, since it's strait down the block, and that was a bit of a comfort.

We are starting to see her real personality come out these past few days. Shes a very intense little girl. She seems to feel embaressed when she doesn't know something that she thinks that she should. She's also very independent and wants to do everything herself. That includes her hair, her nails, picking out clothes, cooking, and other things. It seems that she's a very parentified little girl. She really likes to have control. I like to give her options because it makes her feel a bit better, but I am trying to only do that when it doesn't cause extra work or expense to me.

It's great that she finally warming up to Jerry and playing with him. It makes me feel really good that they are finally doing things together and creating their own relationship. Little girl told me yesterday that she likes having me around. The feeling is mutual.

First Day at her New School

After a long wait, nearly 4 days, little girl has finally started class at her new school. We bundled up and walked together to the school this morning and on the way she confided that she didn't want other kids to think that she has a white mom. She requested a white family because they are "nice" in her words. Even though she got what she wanted, she's a bit embaressed not to be like other African American kids with black parents. I don't know if that will ever change for her. I hope so, because I want to show her support in all her activities like school and sports. I don't want her to always be worried I might embarass her. I told her to tell the kids that I am her 'foster mom' until she's more comfortable with them knowing she's being adopted. I have mixed feelings about that, but it calmed her and made her relax a bit. We are technically foster parents for the next few months anyway. I just want her know that she's a part of this family forever.
She's been displaying a new behavior. When things are going really great she says something about how she only has one mom and that she just wants to be a foster kid forever. I think this is just some guilt that she's feeling like she's betraying her birth mom by getting close to us. I talked with her therapist yesterday about this, and she knows that there's some work to be done about this. Kids only remember the good things and not the bad, she said. I know that LG remembers the bad too though because she's told me about some things. Anyway, I hope that she can come to terms with her mom's behavior and feel like part of our family too.
I keep telling myself that it's only been 2 weeks since she moved in and that it's a long process. On a lighter note, she has been showing some physical affection for us. She sits on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. She's also been playful with Jerry as well as myself and loves to be tickled.
So, things are going alright here at our home. We are begining to work out some little kinks and I am relieved about that.
Tonight we have dinner at her old foster mom's house. Should go well, she's a great lady. She makes us feel pretty comfortable when we are there and I love her dog Olive and her cat Chu Chu.

Little Miss Thang

You could say that LG is getting comfortable here at our house and we are becoming aquinted with the sassy attitude she's brought with her. I am having an easier time keeping it in check then Jerry, but with this cold that I have been fighting my patience is running a bit low.
I am also having trouble getting her into school. It seems that this district has an enrollment center that we have enroll her at. They had to close early because of a plumbing issue, now we have to go tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to get her into school by Wednesday. Poor kid was excited to go today, but her social worker was our of town and unable to enroll her earlier, and since I have to do it she has to wait.