Thursday, April 24, 2008

Lack of Sleep

This morning I got up with my 5 month old puppy at 3:00AM in the morning. She was locked up in her kennel longer then normal yesterday and I guess it made her not that sleepy. However, I was sleepy and could have used the sleep. Is this the Almighty’s way of letting me experience the lack of sleep that one gets with a newborn since I won’t be experiencing it with an actual human baby of my own? The Lord works in mysterious ways I guess.
I got a chance to call our Social Worker this morning, and got the following message, “This is D***, today is Monday, April 21st and I will be in the office this week, however I will be working part time. I will be back fulltime the week of April 28th…” Can I just tell you that this is torture? Waiting is not something I do well. Errrrr….

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Another Week

Another week's gone by and still no word from the SW. We did get a letter from her supervisor on Friday saying that she'd be back in the office this week. Can this drag out any longer?

I have recommitted myself to losing weight this week, and even though it's only Wednesday, I feel better and I am dropping some poundage already. Yeah Me! I know that I can do it if I stick to my plan, but geez I have to really bump up the willpower.

Talked to my dad today and had a good chat. I just wish it could have been longer, but I was at work. Since he lives so far away, I don't get to talk to him very often. It does make it more difficult because he's so busy with his business, getting ready to move, and raising 3 boys that still live at home.

I met another fellow blogger called Sassy that has arthritis and is adopting as well. We have e-mailed a few times and it's nice to have someone with almost the same circumstances as I do. I have learned through the internet that I am not alone with my problems. There are many people out there to comizerate with. Thanks goodness.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Thoughts from this week.

Well, I still haven't heard from the SW to reschedule our last homestudy meeting. I am waiting on pins and needles. I might just end up calling her back by the end of the week.
We finally got our taxes in, and I am hoping next year that we don't have to pay in. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we have a few little deductions next year.
Over the past few weeks I have been mulling over how many kids I actually can handle, over what my heart has chosen as the magic number 3. I think that having 2 kids would work out best for the two of us. That way we won't be outnumbered, and can more easily take care of them. Especially, if they are both young to start out with. This is different then what I had always imagined, and I fear that I am selling out in some way. But, bigger is not always better, and since my children will probably need more attention and affection then if I gave birth to them myself(meaning attachment, social and mental health stuff). So, fewer is probably better. I just think about my friends with only one brother or sister, and they just don't seem as happy as my friends with big families. I am sure that I have got it all wrong, but that's just what I am thinking at the moment.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Today's Rant

I am so disappointed. Jerry and I showed up at what would have been our last Homestudy Meeting with our SW, and were turned away because she's still on medical leave. WHAT? Why weren't we called this time? She missed us on the list... Unacceptable. Every meeting that I have had scheduled with this woman has had to be rescheduled with little or no notice.
I am so upset about this. Even though I have a kind boss, I feel bad having to take all this time off anyway, and when it's for nothing, it's even worse. If I were to miss a meeting without calling the person I was meeting with at my work, I would be in so much trouble. How can she get away with this time and time again? Doesn't she realize how emotionally draining all of this is. It's an emotional process to begin with.
It just sucks. I have the mind to talk to her supervisor. It's a little scary though because I don't want to be reasigned and have to start any of this stuff over, or set a bad example, but I feel like we have been very patient up to this point, and my patience is running LOW at this point.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Finally, Done with Home Study Tomorrow

Yay! Tommorrow morning we will be meeting with Dawn for our last Homestudy visit! I think it will go well, but it's the meeting that we figure out exactly what kinds of children we think we can adopt. We must decide if we can are willing to accept kids with certian types of diabilities. It means that Jerry and I will need to compromise with eachother, and determine what things are most important. This is the process that I like the least, because it feels alot like shopping for kids to me. When you give birth to children, you get what you get, but in this process we decided what we want and what we don't. Although, there are certianly disabilities that I wouldn't know the first thing about caring for someone with them, if I had given birth to these kids, I wouldn't have a choice, right? It just feels a little bit strange.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited, and I guess it only makes sense that the SWs want to place kids with parents that can nurture and physically take care of. They are trying to make the best matches possible. I do appreciate that.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

The vet appointment for the cats went very well. They are both fit as a fiddle, and there's nothing really else to report on that.
I got a call yesterday from the SW that takes care of all the paperwork. Here's the list of things she's still waiting for:

DH's Physical
Backround and Fingerprints from our renter

I am glad to say that none of these are things that I have to do. I am getting really excited for our last homestudy visit next week. That means that our stuff is done, and then we wait to be approved. I am about to jump out of my skin with excitement. The end is near and I can see it, hear it, and smell it. I know that one day when things aren't going good and the kids are bouncing off the walls, I will wonder why I was so excited.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Weekend with the Kids

This weekend we were blessed with the presence of DHs niece and nephew. They are really the joy of my life. They are the reason that I want children so badly. They are really fun to be with.
When they come over we have a sleepover in the living room, and do fun kid things. This weekend we flew kites and played at the park. In the morning we watched cartoons, drink juice and made cinnamon pull apart. We also created necklaces out of spare beads and leather string. Even though I had to change diapers and get up earlier then I normally do, it was heaven for me.
What really tugs at my heartstrings is seeing DH so happy with them. I know that he can’t wait to be a daddy as much as I can’t wait to be a mommy. I took this picture on our way to the park. I think it’s really sweet.