Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Name Change ???

We got a call from the adoption worker who is working on the final paperwork. She asked us what we want LG's name to be on her new birth certificate. We wanted her to have our last name, but we wanted to talk with her about it because she has told us in the past that she doesn't like our last name.
The conversation did not go well. I didn't expect that it would. She wants to keep her last name and says that if we change it or hyphenate her last name and ours that she will not use it. I figured that she would feel that way, but I really don't know what to do. It's important to me that she share our last name and I worry that she might change her mind in the future. So, that leaves us unsure what to do.

Any suggestions?


Tricia said...

Jesse hated our last name until adoption day, now he loves it! How old is LG?? I know you posted it but I can not remember

Jacky said...

That is tough. I think you should change it. Maybe keep her original last name as her middle name.

You could tell her she does not need to "use" your last name until she is ready. Also I would explain that woman often change names when they get married.

Jacky said...

And the fact that you changed your name when you married doesn't mean that you don't love your parents any less, its just a statement about who you are living with. And you understand she will love her birth parents always but she is now living with you all.

Mermaid said...

I agree with Jacky's comment. When I got married, my maiden name was added to my original middle name (so I have 4 names). I did this because I generally go by my middle name.

I think it is important for your last name to be her last name. I agree she doesn't have to use it until she is ready. Good luck - this is a tough issue for both her and you.

tubaville said...

Have you considered using your last name as her middle name? Does she have any ideas for a new name that she would like? Our kids were all different. Some wanted to keep parts of their names and others wanted nothing to do with them. It depends on the kid and isn't really a reflection on you.

Gretchen Osowski said...

Thank you all for your thoughts. I appreciate it greatly.