This weekend we had a little visitor. Her name is Savannah and she's our nephew Josh's little one. She's 13 months old and just a cutie. Josh brought her over on Sunday for a couple of hours to visit. Most of the time when he was there he and Jerry watched football, but that was alright with me because I got to spend some time playing with her. Although she's only a little over a year she's got such a personality. She's very curious and has the most infectious laugh. I wish I was able to see her more often. Every time I have seen her I have been tempted to tell Josh that I am willing to babysit whenever, but I know that offer would get abused and so I do not make the offer. I feel like I am losing out, but I know that I wouldn't be able to say no each time he asked. I love having children around, but it also frustrates me to no end when they leave because I have been waiting so long to have my own.

Another thing that makes me feel a little strange is that I am not sure what role I play in Savannah's life. I have parented Josh and feel maternal in that reguard, so she feels a little like a grandbaby, but alas, Josh is not my child, he's my nephew, so she's inevidably just a niece. I wonder how much attachment to her is appropriate. I don't want to step on anyones toes. She has a grandma. So, because of this I remain indifferent to her. I enjoy seeing her when I do, but I don't take any liberties that a grandmother might, by requesting time with her, or doing the little things a grandma might. I feel a bit cheated.